Who is this masked woman?

Who is this masked woman?

C'est La Vie

"That's why [Aimee's] hair is so big, it's full of secrets."

"...evil takes a human form in [Aimee Rowe]. Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she's so much more than that. [Aimee's] the queen bee - the star, [Everyone else] are just her little workers". ~ Mean Girls2

Sunday, 30 May 2010

"And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

I've been thinking of late.
Not that any of it is grand or truly wonderful.
But, I have been thinking, and the thoughts have been kind of morose.  Kind of dark.  It started with a question in the wee hours of the night.

AJR asked me the other night (about a week ago), well it wasn't night it was about 4 or 5 a.m.  "What is going to happen in a hundred years?"

"Nothing..you will be dead and life will go on."

Does that sound horrible?  Does that sound like we should even continue to live?  It does, I mean..we ought to be living each day into itself, enjoying our time, enjoying the moments of joy, uncertainty, peace, happiness, passion and anger.  Shouldn't we?

To be honest, its been a bit of a mental rollercoaster the last 4 days.  See, I'm in England, I want to stay here to be with AJR.  We had an opportunity, we let it go.  The thing is, is that it could have gone one of two ways.  Paradise or the lake of burning fire.   I like to think it would have gone to paradise.   I still, in my heart of hearts continue to believe that it would have been, could have been this lovely-glorious-love fulfilled dream to reality type of thing.

But, we let it go.

I don't know if it would have been a good idea, we will never know.  The path has changed, the circumstances different, and now we are back to the original plan.  

How do I really feel?

Somewhat sad, heartbroken and yes well to put it like AJR "disillusioned."

But, this is the part where one has to buck up and just take things as they are...we will get there, one day as long as our hearts are strong and our spirits are co-joined on the path that we endeavour together.

And about the quote??

The abyss has been staring back at me for months now.
The Jaguar

Tuesday, 25 May 2010

Humbly, it starts.

"Certain motherfuckers think they can fuck with my shit, but you can't kill the Rooster. You might can fuck him up some times, but, bitch, nobody kills the motherfucking Roster. You know what I'm saying?"

— David Sedaris (Me Talk Pretty One Day)
Okay, fine. 
 Here I am starting a damned blog. 
 I thought if fifty million other people can blog about what they are cooking, I can blog about what I'm 'cooking' too.  Cooking up ideas, schemes and situations.  Ohhh..and I have plenty of those 'situations.'  They come up rather frequently. 
Oh, not to switch the subject too much, but I've been warned TWICE.
By guess Who?..AJR He has warned me; to not write about depressing things, morbid things, things that will "bring the sados" around.  He encouraged me to write about politics and world events...BORING..who wants to read about that??  When one can just pick up the newspaper (which is outdated at this point.) or click on Foxnews.com getting a fucking daily dose of depression that way??...no, no, NO..
.I replied that I didn't know what I was gonna write about, and I still don't.  Nope, not one fucking clue.  I think this first blog is a GOOD indication of what's to come--a shit load of NOTHING.
BUT.  There is some hope about, that this blog will turn into something really cool, with loads of subscribers and readers..for nothing more than my literary needs.
I need to write and with that I need readers..I don't need ass kissers, or people pleasers, just causal readers that like to..well.."enter the dragon" lets just say..and experience my experience with their experience while feeling the whole experience in this huge experience oriented way.
I mean..that makes sense doesn't?
Yeahhh..I thought you would understand.
Until next time,
The Jaguar